A Guide to Some of the Reformed Constellations

Degrees of Wakefulness

This constellation shows some striking similarities to its near neighbour, Paranoia (q.v.). It is very well authenticated, frequently shimmering in the early morning just above the skyline. Observers are, unfortunately, only intermittently aware of its presence, and this may be why, although many have sought to chart its precise layout, there is no general agreement on the matter. The distant galaxy DG 9831 (also known as 'Noises in the Next Room') is an interesting feature to be found in this grouping, lying at its uppermost edge, between it and its neighbouring constellation, Happiness In Dreams (q.v.).

Her Scent Again

A wispy and tenuous constellation, chiefly notable in that it is never glimpsed except by accident. Obviously, it is futile to attempt to predict its position in the sky, but it is most frequently observed in late evenings, from some such unpromising vantage-point as a bus queue, or a crowded pub. Its appalling and completely forgotten force can be enough to bring instant tears to the eyes, with perhaps slightly embarrassing results. Its shape might suggest that it is an expanding leftover of a previous explosion. It is a quite outstanding radio source, of what has been described as 'something very like the sound of light breathing'.

Reasons For Existence

One hears many unconfirmed reports about this apparently superb constellation (still known as 'Why?' in some quarters), yet for some obscure reason it persistently seems to prefer ...